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Phew…I’m glad that’s over!

December 9, 2009

This year has been full of challenges for me and too infrequently do I see challenges for tools of growth or learning. In fact I’ll be the first to say “Thank god we’re past that”. But really, if I wanted to take the easy way out, I’d sit right there and keep asking for more of that. Because I know that as soon as this challenge passes, a new one will emerge.

This year, the challenge I’m wiping my brow over as I let out a sigh of relief is having had an unemployed hubs. And what’s interesting is that the hard part was not the finances (though those were not easy). No, it was dealing with having a stressed out partner all the time. It was coming home to a messy house and still trying to be a supportive wife while all I wanted to do was ask why the heck the sink was piled to the ceiling with dishes. Again. It was looking past my own anxiety around not knowing what the future holds and holding my guys hand while he was anxious too. It was learning that I needed to keep my mouth shut sometimes and be a supportive friend (instead of saying something snarky) and that I needed to speak out sometimes when it would’ve been easier to keep my mouth shut and not rock the boat.

This year, the challenge of having a sad husband who spent 7 years of his life in school only to graduate and not get a job helped me grow into a more loving partner. And while I would never wish it on anyone else, a year of having an unemployed SO may have actually given our marriage a new strength that we may never have otherwise received.

And now, Dr. Pagita has a job. And now I’m 1/2 anxious, 1/2 excited about the challenge queued up next.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 9, 2009 5:24 pm

    wow. i definitely wouldn’t want to have to go through an extended period of time with my spouse out of work. i’m sure it was much more challenging even than you’re writing here, but kudos for finding a way to see the growth and good in the bad.

  2. December 9, 2009 11:14 pm

    i agree with robyn – way to go! i know that when i’m anxious about something the last thing i want is to have someone else echoing the feelings i already have – it compounds them, in a sense.


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